I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
