we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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