Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
