Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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