Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
