Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I deserve this hangover.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
