I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
