p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
