If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
