11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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