I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
