I hate your face
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
