Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
