Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
