you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
