Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
