Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
