My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
