I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
