i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
