I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
