apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
