I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
