I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
