your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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