There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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