It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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