I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
