Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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