all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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