i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
