i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Operation Purity has been aborted
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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