Cold hands, warm shart.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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