Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
