I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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