I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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