Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
