Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i dont even know how to be here
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
