I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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