also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
