She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
