Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
