he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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