I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
