God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
