If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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