I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
