she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
