Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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