Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
