yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
